Several years ago the mother of a girl I was good friends with in High School passed away, but before she did her daughter called one day to ask for prayer for her. She was in the hospital and things didn't look good. Her mom was able to go home from the hospital before she went back in and passed away. At the time, I remember thinking that I wanted to go visit her, I had long lost the friendship with her daughter but I kept thinking that I wanted to thank her (the mom) because many years before she had treated us (my husband and me) very kind. She was always very hospitable and if she was cooking or had just cooked when we arrived she would offer to feed us. It was a home much like mine and I always felt comfortable there and she was one of the reasons that I did.
I kept telling my husband that if I didn't see her at least I wanted to send her flowers and let her know that I appreciated her kindness. Time doesn't stand still for anybody and instead of following through with what I wanted to do, I procrastinated, so much so that she eventually passed away and I was too late to say "thank you". As I sat at her funeral, it really bothered me and for about a year after she died, it still really bothered me. It bothered me that I didn't make the time, that I let the busyness of life get in the way. Now I really don't think it would have mattered to her either way or made a difference in her life, so why did it bother me so much? I am not sure, maybe I just felt that I owed her a thank you because at a certain moment in my life she made a difference, but I was a little too late to let her know.
Last week I received a phone call that a little girl I worked with about 11 years ago passed away. She was a Freshmen in High School and I had the pleasure of working with her from the time she was 3 years old until about 5 years of age. She had severe special needs and I would go to her home once or twice a week to work with her. Somedays I would get there and she would be asleep and since I didn't know if she would wake up soon or not, I would wait the hour I was being paid to see her, just in case. In that hour I would sit and talk to her mom and sometimes her grandmother. Needless to say in those two years I felt very connected to her and her family. I enjoyed going to see her and her family and although her case was quite a difficult one, it was good being with her. I honestly think I learned a lot more from her and her family than I was ever able to teach her. Eventually I stopped working with her and then about a year or two later I left that job for the one I am at now. I remembered still emailing her mom occasionally to ask about her and I think I even visited her once. As the years continued and my life got bussier, I lost touch with her mother. I have often talked about her to my students and even thought about visiting her again....but I never did, again just a little too late.
I wasn't shocked to hear that she had passed away, but I was a bit surprised that her mom wanted me to know. After all of this time, she wanted me to know that her baby girl was gone. Once again I sat here thinking that if I only made the time, I could have seen the little girl one more time and told her mommy what an impression they had made. So even as I sit here writing this post, I am in the process of writing this momma a letter just to tell her that I am sorry for her loss and that her little girl was an important part of my life all those years ago. And as I write these words I am struck with the realization that there will be people we will meet who may only be in our lives a short while.
People come into our lives and they don't all stay forever, and maybe that is o.k. King Solomon wrote in the book of Ecclesiastes that there was a season for everything, and maybe that goes for special people and special moments that touch your life and make a difference and then are gone and all you have left is a memory and the lesson that was learned. The strength of a momma, of two little ones with special needs, is what I learned from knowing this family and that even in the midst of what seemed an extremely challenging journey they were still able to smile and laugh and make a stranger feel at home. Even if I was a too late to re-connect with the people I can definitely still learn from the time I did spend with them, and it is never too late to learn something new even if the lesson comes from a memory. So as I sit here and think about this sweet little one I will remember my time with her and the lessons I learned from her and I am sure in thinking about her there will be another lesson learned, a lesson I can use now that I may have never noticed then.
This post is definitely not what I usually write on this blog, but this has been on my heart all this week, so excuse the rambling, and if you have read this far maybe you can take a minute to think about somebody you may want to thank and do so before it becomes just a little too late, and if it is now too late simply think about them and the impact they made on your life. You may find that there is still more to learn from them and your relationship with them.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven"
Ecclesiastes 3:1